Habits are small. They succeed and live not with a blaze of glory but through unnoticed evolution. Bad habits creep in, covertly and hopefully unspotted. Good habits are formed through daily adjustments and careful curation.

Now that New Years is here and resolutions are falling by the wayside, I feel compelled to think of these mysterious things. Why was the gym packed today? Why will it be empty next week?

A month ago I started to feel a bit cramped. I didn’t feel bad at all. I was merely questioning my life, which is a good thing. Maybe I wasn’t really enjoying things as much as I thought I was. Maybe they were just habits. I was so caught up in being reliable with writing (and other things) that I wasn’t sure if I was enjoying it all. I really think I was, but at the time I wasn’t sure.

Children, like the Universe, descend into chaos. My children are very good kids. I love them and find them intriguing and interesting. It still amazes me how quickly our best efforts for good behavior simply wear off. The bad habits return.

My son chews with his mouth open. This bothers me so we set out to fix it. We made strands of colored beads that are put down in front of him while he eats. He has 3 strands: green, yellow and finally red. When he chews with his mouth open a strand is removed. If the red strand is removed he is not allowed to eat dessert.

It works well and quickly breaks the habit. I think only once did he actually lose his dessert. Just the constant visual reminder is enough. But it returns!

I start last week with the goal to enhance my mental rejuvenation. I’m definitely making progress. Here’s a few things I learned:

1. Pomodoro Technique removes my enjoyment. It increases my stress.
2. Starting the day right is hugely important. Beginning each morning with a 10 minute quiet period is amazing. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s getting easier to ignore my email.
3. Meditation doesn’t rejuvenate my mind. I wish it did. It does help with fatigue. It does make me feel happier. It doesn’t allow me to get more done (yet).
4. As I get older, I believe in meditation more. Adding in more structured times for meditation has helped me simply feel better.
5. I get very frustrated when I can’t find a good path forward.

In the morning, a mountain lake is calm and tranquil. The water is cold and refreshing. The surface is smooth and glass-like. It reflects the world around it accurately. As the day progresses, the winds start and the sun warms the water, causing ripples and waves.

Photo by Ron Coscorrosa, amazing Landscape Photographer

My wife and I have been together for 10 years now (in a few more weeks, anyway). It’s pretty amazing and I’m very lucky. Partnerships always require work, honesty and devotion. That’s something we’ve both practiced since the beginning and it’s paid off.

One of the very few issues that we were far apart from a mutual understanding was about my mind. She couldn’t understand it and I wasn’t good at explaining it. Then with the help of a book, it became clear to her. I don’t even remember the book, but the message was simple. Cognitive or mentally stressful efforts (typically from work) require periods of mental rejuvenation. The book called this “Fire Gazing time”.

This is more tangible than my typical posts. Customer service has been on my mind a lot.

Tony Hsieh (that shoe guy) made a name for himself with amazing business acumen. I associate him with something different, though. He revitalized a dying customer service culture. Whenever I hear his name I think of the legendary stories of amazing customer support and it makes me smile. My favorite story is when he asked people to call up the Zappos.com 1-800 line to get pizza recommendations. They succeeded.

I’ve had a pretty good reading year. Since I started tracking my reading I’ve done better, especially in terms of focused reading. I’m going to try to do posts like this regularly. Just small book reviews, with the last few books I’ve read and what is coming up in my queue.

I’m skipping over a few books, primarily Malcolm Gladwell’s writings. I’ve read or re-read all of his books this year, and enjoyed them but I feel they’re so well described elsewhere it isn’t necessary.

I recently took a trip to New York and knew I could change my life forever. Not by what happened there, but by adjusting my perspective on people. New York is not known as a hospitable place. It’s not known as a city you encounter friends-to-be. I decided to start an experiment.

I have a problem. I’m not alone in this problem, and I didn’t even realize the depth of my problem. I don’t see other people as people. When I don’t know someone, they are only their function. That is to say that a waiter is not a person, they are someone who brings my food to me. A taxi driver is an autonomous car.

The other night my wife and I were at a great dinner party. It was upbeat, lots of laughing from funny stories going around. My wife was in a different circle and I strained to hear what was going on. It was a very different group. It was serious and somber. I worried they were even going to talk about politics. I promptly reverted my attention back to my group.

Later, the couple that was talking with my wife came to talk with me. The levity and joy I had vanished and was replaced with an awkward seriousness. This rapidity of the change took me by surprise. When we finally left to head home, the negative feeling stuck with me. I share this with my wife and she was not surprised.