I’m not a very good hard worker. I don’t pull weeds. There is a whole category of hard work that I just won’t do. I don’t really feel bad about it. I avoid hard work, like I avoid most things I don’t like to do.

This doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. I enjoy working hard, just on things that use my brain more than my hands. I avoid not working hard just like I avoid hard work. Fred Wilson recently wrote about mailing it in. I don’t mail it in, if I’m going to do it, I’ll do it. I’ll do a good job.

In fact, I’m going to do such a good job the next time I have to do it, it will be easier. Each subsequent time will be easier and better. This isn’t because I’m a hard worker, though. I’m just lazy, over the long haul. And hard work rarely works in this way. I pull weeds. They regrow. I can’t be lazy there.

Ask me to vacuum, we may end up with new carpet. The old carpet was too hard to get clean!

Every day we have opportunities for this. Embrace them, because in a few short months you can create hours of free time. Just like investing, putting an initial investment up front will yield dividends.

It’s a great feeling to know I get more done in 5 hours than I could last year. Comparing to 5 years ago, it’s not even recognizable. I’ve increased my efficiency so much I built and launched a web application in 3 days.

That one will be hard to top, but in 5 years I’ll look back on that and wonder what took so long.

Years ago I was sitting still. Annoyingly still. Deathly still. I wanted to move. I was frustrated. It wouldn’t happen. I was stuck in traffic. Every lane I picked was wrong, and I picked all of them. Sometimes twice.

My friend who was with me casually said, “Commit to your mistake”. This was a great relief for me, because in that moment I realized that any further change would be a bigger mistake. I wasn’t making deliberate choices, just reactive changes.

Even more years ago, in 1839, Charles Goodyear accidentally burned some rubber. Instead of throwing the charred rubber away, he examined it and realized it was a significant breakthrough. He was awarded a patent for vulcanizing rubber in 1844. He made a mistake and kept his eyes open.

Each mistake we make can open profound opportunities if we’re open to them. It’s easy to ignore this, to regret a mistake and not move on. In short, to be stubborn.

Accept the mistake, commit to the mistake, but don’t be trapped by it. Be resilient, be rubbery. When things go bad, there’s a few things to immediately question:

1. What is my current reality?
2. How did I get here?
3. What did I notice before getting here that could have helped?
4. Is where I’m at really that bad? Is it better than before?

These questions are designed to help move forward and prevent more damaging mistakes in the future. It increases flexibility and increases observation. Without opening your eyes, tunnel vision creeps in and we can’t see down the road. We just keep switching lanes, being the slowest mover in the jam.

This post was inspired by Jerry Colonna. One of my biggest highlights of 2013 was meeting and working with Jerry. There are certain people whom, for mysterious reasons, simply have a special touch. Jerry is one of those and when he speaks, you listen. Not because you feel obligated, but because you don’t have a choice. An ice cube can’t exist in a sauna, ignorance can’t exist around Jerry.

I don’t care about being “Open Minded” anymore. I just can’t. When I hear some interesting statistic or lesson and want to verify or read more, I often hear a remark about being close-minded. I don’t want to think about my mind being open or closed. It’s too complex.

I want to be curious. I just want to explore and think. I want to daydream and envision both the plausible and implausible. There is no downside to curiosity, especially when coupled with skepticism. Curiosity leads to skepticism, which is more complex. Skepticism is curiosity with an agenda, an end-goal.

Skepticism is often criticized. Skeptics are often told they are close-minded. I don’t believe this; I can’t believe it, for I am a skeptic. An active skeptic is someone actively investigating an idea.

It is contradictory to simultaneously investigate and reject an idea. That’s not even the cart before the horse. That’s the cart inside the horse. Or the horse inside the cart. I’m not sure which. I’ll have to investigate.

The power of skepticism

The real benefit to being a skeptic is that the insights and knowledge must be earned. I certainly am guilty of repeating facts and figures I’ve “learned”, but many of them I don’t thoroughly understand. When I compare that superficial knowledge to matters I’ve learned through skeptical investigation and analysis, it’s a vast difference. Nearly unrecognizable.

These insights I can explain in detail. Not just what the subject is, but how we can to learn (which in many cases is incredibly interesting). More importantly why it’s important. Without the skeptical angle, my knowledge is superficial and my ability to share is stunted.

The drawbacks of skepticism

There are, of course, draw backs to being a skeptic. It takes time. It can be mentally exhausting. I have a paper I’ve been trying to read for 4 weeks. I’m not exaggerating. I still haven’t finished it. I keep referencing their references. It’s this rabbit hole that goes down deep.

That is definitely a weakness and a strength, because I’ve learned a great deal. Except it’s not timely. Usually when I look something up I have a need to understand it at that moment. Not in a month, but now.

Skeptics rarely have that luxury, and if they do I question them. That questioning is what keeps skeptics busy. That constant questioning, even about other skeptics. Are they legitimately a skeptic? Wait, am I?

I really struggle with myself sometimes. Maybe it’s more fair to say that I struggle with others and they struggle with me. I’m very analytical, which is common in my profession. I also lack a lot of empathy. Also common.

If I ask my wife for 3 words to describe me, “robotic” and “psychopath” could be contenders. It depends upon her mood. I don’t have many of those moods. Even when I’m in one of those moods, I don’t understand them. They tend to be short lived.

It isn’t that I don’t feel the emotions, it’s that I have to turn my head to see them. They aren’t in my field of view unless I look for them.

I also don’t find this to be a problem, except for when it is. By the time it is a problem it tends to be a big problem. One of the best tips from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is also one of the simplest:

You can be effective with people, but not efficient.

Being analytical and not attentive to the emotional side is the paragon of efficiency. Sadly, I am almost always entirely ineffective. I fail to rally the troops, even with a perfect plan.

Yes, I am right! Can’t you see it? What do you mean it doesn’t feel right?

It doesn’t matter that I’m right. I’m wrong. I’m wrong because I don’t explain in a way people understand. I’m not effective. I don’t relate to people properly.

If you want people to understand, they must make the discovery themselves. You cannot jam knowledge into anybody’s head; you can only draw a map and hope they follow it. To be effective is to get them to want to follow it

We all know this inherently, but some of us, the more analytic bunch, can’t apply it. Even better is that we have experience with this. Our best teachers have allowed us to learn in this way. They don’t fill our heads with facts, they enable our minds to truly understand.

But I never learned that lesson until recently, and I miss many opportunities. With my kids, my wife and colleagues.

Baby girl let me get all up in your earlobe And if you shut me down you can kill my ego Which is my enemy makes you my amigo So either way you and I are button and needle – K’Naan, I Come Prepared

When I prepare, I’m saying something explicit to myself. I am not good enough yet. This is liberating. It’s moving, motivating and energizing. It’s because I’m insecure.

I really hate being caught unawares. I can remember each failure over the last few years with vivid detail. The frustration and anger, wanting to yell at someone when I’m the one to blame. Each time I make the vow, never again.

There’s always a next time, but they’re getting few and far between. The failures are also less impactful. Preparation is a habit, like all things. Preparation is the easiest way to put my ego away and enter a situation with the mindset to learn.

Why is my ego dangerous?

My ego is what tells me I am an expert. When I’m an expert I talk loudly and often. I don’t listen to the other people in the room. I’m the expert! But those other people may be better prepared. A better prepared amateur is likely to know more, and help me learn. But I’m the expert. I don’t have time for amateurs.

My ego makes me impatient. I want to get out and do something, hastily and quickly, turning a nugget of knowledge into a product or feature. I don’t let the insights transform my thinking.

Most importantly, my ego isn’t me. Preparing separates us.

My daughter has a milk allergy (amongst others). We discovered this after trying to trace down why she was constantly sick, worrying about something more severe. We finally suspected a food allergy. A quick (and dramatic) trip to the doctor confirmed our suspicions.

This was an upheaval in our life. My daughter and I love to bake. With milk. She loves ice cream, cheese, cream cheese, yogurt. Pretty much any milk product.

We’ve turned this into a challenge to work with, finding alternative foods and recipes. For the most part we’ve been successful. We’ve developed a steady habit of checking all ingredients as we go. It’s astonishing how many foods contain milk protein.

But then, I failed

An accident happened. But not just any accident. An accident that could have, and should have, been avoided. Because literally as I was cooking I was talking about confirmation bias:

It is the best approach to assume you are always wrong, when you question something to verify it. Never assume you are right.

I threw the pre-made (fantastic) Trader Joe’s Gnocchi in the boiling water and continued.

Confirmation bias is really dangerous, it leads us into making mistakes with the utmost confidence. I really am trying to take a default I’m wrong stance.

I whipped up a pesto sauce and finished dinner.

As I was cooking, I thought that I did want them to try the gnocchi. I wasn’t expecting them to eat it, they had non-dairy Mac’n’Cheese. I asked myself, “What’s in gnocchi?” I replied, confidently to myself since I’ve made gnocchi from scratch, “Potato, egg, flour and salt… with other spices.” Good, we’re safe.

And an hour after dinner, my daughter emitted the familiar but nearly forgotten cry. She ran into the bathroom and very forcibly released the allergen from her belly. But why!?

She says through the tears, “It was the gnocchi!”

And looking at the package there is the allergen warning: Contains Milk.

I fell to the exact psychological failure I was actively working on. My daughter had to pay the price, but she’s fine now. Next time I succumb to a cognitive bias what will the consequences be?

There has been a pattern in my life which I’m sure is familiar to many.

I cannot control my creativity

How frustrating it is when I can spend 30 minutes and produce more than other times in 10 hours! I love when random moments of brilliance happen, but it’s not just Flow). The spirit of creativity: creation without caring about fear or overconfidence. These moments are rare and I want more of them. They bring insights, pleasure and enjoyment.

Creativity is a fragile ecosystem, everything has to be in balance. When there is fear it cannot happen, but there has to be pressure to create. Sometimes this pressure is external, in most cases this is an intrinsic pressure. I need to create.

I set expectations for myself, the expectations of others matter less. The expectations I set for myself surpass those set upon me. The expectations for myself are better in all ways, except one.

Expectations can create fear. That fear should be balanced by the confidence in our competence. Competence is hard to get right; many over-estimate their confidence and competence. Stop thinking about confidence, or even competency. Instead, focus on the best thing you can do. Then do the best you can do.

If you set out to do the best possible job, to put yourself so thoroughly into the outcome that you die a little when it’s finished, you’ll find that creative spark.

That creative spark is there because it’s a part of you. Without your best effort, there isn’t any you in the product. There’s just your fear and confidence.

I recently came across a really great project management technique called Premortems, which leverages a concept called “Prospective Hindsight”. That, in turn, benefits from the “Sealed-Fate Effect”. What really surprised me was that I had never heard of this, never seen it in use, and that it was a very, very good idea.

At that point, I did what any geek would do. I took it upon myself to build an application to manage Premortems. Except I did it in 3 days. Why 3 days? Well, holiday and then Saturday and Sunday. This doesn’t mean it’s low quality. I’m already using this for my projects; including a vacation. I’m using it because I want to succeed, and I hope it helps you, too.

It’s completely free to create a Premortem board, but if you want to share the board or collaborate it’s a $5 one-time fee. This keeps it low cost, lets people benefit and offsets my hosting (and hopefully development costs).

While it only took 3 days to build the initial product, it’s based off years of practice rapidly developing products. I’m also hoping to continue working on it.

A closing personal note

I really want this to get some traction and help people be more successful in their projects. Because of this, I’m going to ask that people share this more than I ever have before. This is really important to me.

A year ago I quit my comfortable job and wanted to start working on projects I’m very passionate about. This is just one of those efforts, and TDP is the other.

If you find this interesting at all please share this. Tell people who are running projects of any kinds. Even not obvious things like Meetings, Vacations, and whatever else I haven’t thought of.

Life is complex. It’s incredibly complex, and sometimes frustrating. Other times annoying. This is when life is good. When we try to be productive amongst such an uncertain landscape, we’re bound to build up some fears and anxieties. All because the fears are magnified.

Unfortunately, because of our ancestral history, we’re really just nervous monkeys. We fear failure the same way we fear for our survival; every fear is fight or flight. These perceived, imagined dangers really impact our ability to be human.

Fear creates inconsistency

We perform the best under unusual circumstances. Our best performances don’t come out to win something big, instead they appear to prevent deep loss. A study of PGA Tour golfers showed that the fear (loss aversion) of going over par for a bogey is more powerful than the desire to get a birdie. To put it simply: A professional golfer putting for a birdie is less likely to succeed than the same golfer putting for par.

The difference isn’t substantial, under 4%, but missing one out of every 25 shots is huge! This amounts to lower scores, which can mean a million dollars lost. Fear in the moment can keep us from failing, but we won’t perform to our maximum levels.

Why fear is necessary

Fear keeps us from being overconfident. Overconfidence causes many of our most miserable failures. After a well-placed shot, a golfers next shot is going to be worse. Fortunately, fear tends to kick in, and after a poor shot golfers then increase their accuracy.

Overconfidence and fear are the yin and yang in life. If we have too much or too little of one, it can affect us in profound ways. Forget 4%, even a 1% difference when calculated over the course of our lifetimes is a massive change.

Confidence and fear keep the tight-rope we walk elevated. Too much fear or confidence, the tension builds and we snap. Not enough, and we sag into a pit of demotivation.

This is part two of three (Part 1), based on my reading about fear, creativity. It all started with the Remote Associates Test. Up next, I’ll write about how I work to find a different place to work from.

Mood is exceptionally important. Mood is also highly variable and highly connected. When we’re happy we are productive, when we suffer we fail to accomplish even simple things. This relationship is one I want to control, so I’ve been studying it.

I know if I sleep well and eat properly I’m more at peace. I feel better. That usually leads to more energy, which ultimately means I can be more creative. I still wasn’t sure why, but now i have a pretty good idea.